**NEW** The Mash Report

Returning satirical and surreal news show. Nish Kumar and a cast of hilarious correspondents keep you up to date with everything that has happened – or not happened – this week.

  • Thursday 18th January, 10pm

  • BBC Two

  • 1 of 6


Into The Fire

For most firefighters, there is nothing like the surge of adrenaline when they spring into action at the sound of the bells. Filming with new helmet and body-worn cameras, firefighters in the West Midlands capture that sense of excitement to reveal the true nature of their work.

Grenfell, the worst fire in living memory, shocks the firefighting community across the West Midlands, but only two week later, as tensions about tower blocks run high across the country; firefighters tackle a high-rise blaze in central Birmingham.  Sheldon White Watch respond to the incident, where residents run down the stairwells, as smoke is seen coming from the sixth floor of the building.

Elsewhere in the city, fire safety officer Mia Temple is out reassuring resident of other tower blocks that they are safe and the cladding of their building won’t go up in flames. Mia conducts safety tests to calm the nerves of some elderly residents.

Highgate Red Watch are on nightshift and called out to a shout where they use brains and brawn to save a man’s leg trapped by 10 tonnes of double decker bus!  

  • Monday 15th January, 10pm

  • Really

  • 2 of 9


How to Lose Weight Well

In this episode the CRASHERS are 22 year old AK and 23 year old Bethany from Bedford who want to drop a dress size to go speed dating in two weeks. AK struggles on the Egg Diet, allegedly cracked onto by Nicole Kidman. AK can eat eggs any which way but fried. Apart from eggs there are also leafy greens, plain chicken and fruit on the menu. Bethany is on the strawberry diet and needs to incorporate strawberries into both savoury and sweet dishes. How much weight if any will the girls lose before going on the pull?

SHAPESHIFTERS Gemma and Charlotte are both teachers and want to trim down for their school reunion in six weeks’ time. Gemma tries out the New Nordic Diet, based on what the Vikings ate. Fish features heavily as a source of protein along with wild meats, seeds and vegetables. Charlotte is on the Ayurvedic Diet, an Indian healthy lifestyle system which believes there are three mind-body types or doshas. By eating for your type, the diet claims you can not only lose weight but also achieve optimum health. Can both of them stick to their diets?

The LIFE CHANGERS are married couple Si and Simon who want to trim down for Manchester Pride in four months’ time. Si follows the ‘Dude Diet’, invented by a culinary food graduate who wanted to get her food obsessed boyfriend eating healthy. The diet features foods that men typically like, such as beef, curry and tacos but they must be cooked fresh and portion sizes reduced. Simon’s ‘Skinny Bastard Diet’ is vegan so features pretty much just vegetables, along with beans, grains nuts and that popular crowd pleaser – tofu. Simon initially struggles with the lack of texture but the end results might surprise them both.

Xand also finds out if fat melting injections are the easiest alternative to dieting. He meets estate agent Jason who wants to get rid of unwanted fat by having a drug called Aqualyx injected into his double chin. Will the results be remarkable?

In the second strand Xand pushes his body to the limit to find out if our overnight weight fluctuations are just down to water. We first learn about the dangerous technique of water cutting, used by body builders and boxers to lose weight before a fight or competition. Xand tries out the technique himself to establish our daily water weight loss only to conclude that it is so dangerous that no one should ever do this.

  • Monday 15th January, 8pm

  • Channel 4

  • 2 of 5


The Farmers’ Country Showdown

Ep10 : SHEEP

Sheep farmers Neil and Rhian from the Brecon Beacons, and Crymych based shepherds Mandy and Derek hope to beat the competition with their pedigree breed sheep at the Pembrokeshire County Show.


Today three influential farm workers, all essential to the success of their farms, go up against each other. They are all hoping to be named Farm Worker of the Year at the prestigious Farmers Weekly Awards.


Today flower farmer Natalie Davies from Worcester and arable farmer Cate Morris from Gloucestershire will use flowers from their farms to create stunning floral displays to impress the judges as they compete at the Malvern Autumn Show.


Today two very different farm producers attend the annual Farnham Food Festival to sell their products to the public. Gamekeeper and butcher Jack is promoting his wild venison and craft brewer Robert is selling his traditional English ales.


Cattle farmers Kim from Somerset and husband-wife team Geoff and Beverley head to Sedgemoor Auction, one of the largest livestock markets in the country, to sell a selection of their finest Dexter cattle, but will they meet the reserve and get the prices they need?

  • Week days from Monday 15th January, 3:45pm

  • BBC One

  • 10 – 14 of 20


Tattoo Fixers

Getting inked on this week’s Tattoo Fixers is Yorkshire lass Lisa, who took her love for Yorkshire puddings a step too far, Ben whose big boy ​ boasting tattoo isn’t a hit with his new girlfriend and reality TV addict Mike whose Big Brother based inking needs to be evicted.

Meanwhile Jay gives Ieuan a tribute to his late sister so she will always be with him, Alice re-decorates Abbie’s drunken doodle and Sketch gets his hands on Luke’s fruity fail.

Starting Up, Starting Over

58-year-old Gary and 54-year-old Neil are lifelong motorcycle lovers and self-confessed adrenaline junkies. Friends for over 30 years, they’ve hatched a plan for new lives where they can indulge their love of bikes and encourage a new generation to share it.

Gary, a former baker, was forced to give up his career having been severely disabled after a serious motor bike accident 7 years ago.  As well as breaking his back in three places, his liver was torn and both legs were broken.  Over 50 operations later and with a catalogue of injuries, Gary is in constant pain. But he desperately wants to get back into work, and to do something he loves and believes in.  Neil owned his own construction business but grew tired of the industry, and he also wants a new fulfilling life. Together they have decided to build Europe’s first indoor motocross arena on the outskirts of Glasgow, Neil’s home town.

It’s a huge task: they are renting a vast hanger in which they are going to build three tracks using over seven thousand tonnes of earth. Not content with the tracks they are also building a restaurant café and a shop. They are ploughing their entire life savings into the project – over £75,000 each – and they can’t afford for it to fail.

As work gets started on the tough physical work of construction, it isn’t long before Gary’s old injuries start to flare up and he’s soon in agony. The damp Glasgow weather and the 400 mile weekly commute also force Gary to fly off for a break in the sun, leaving Neil to cope alone.

When Gary returns much of the conversion has been completed and the friends need to face their next hurdle: getting the different official sign-offs for the works. But as this track is the first of its kind in the UK, the paperwork is not straightforward and there is delay after delay which causes friction between the old friends. With the hanger rent alone costing £20,000 a month, will they get the go ahead before they go under? 

  • Wednesday 17th January, 7pm

  • Channel 5

  • 6 of 6


The Wine Show

In tonight’s show, Matthew Goode and James Purefoy are in search of a wine to match the starter in their epic six-course lunch. They get an early morning call in the Ardeche before heading up the river in a kayak and caving their way to a very unusual wine cellar. Back at the villa, Jancis Robinson chooses her favourite wine of the two they bring back. Meanwhile, Joe Fattorini takes a trip to Argentina and discovers a very successful immigrant, and also heads to Japan with top London brewer Jaega Wise to find out about sake. Back in London, Matthew Rhys is back at Berry Brothers & Rudd in London St James’s looking at historic and modern gadgets.

  • Friday 19th January, 7pm

  • Channel 5

  • 2 of 7


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